... When No One Else is Watching

I'm Laughing Just Thinking About It

My favorite moment of the day - My husband using the term "va-jay-jay" in a sentence. I love Grey's Anatomy so much just for adding this term to my husband's vocabulary. Hilarious!

Now I understand why my mom never let me go grocery shopping with her

Rob and I were at Wal-Mart the other day (yes, you read that correctly, I stepped into a Wal-Mart and now have Target guilt) to buy a camera case for the new, beautiful camera we just bought. We also bought a few other items and promptly went to go pay for them at checkout. Checking out at Wal-Mart is one of the reasons I hate going to this big box store,,, it takes FOREVER! Why? Because obviously, everyone else in the Salt Lake Valley loves Wal-Mart and they all decide to show up at the one time I decide to go there, and when it's time for me to check out everyone's E.S.P. kicks in and they run to the checkout lines in order to foil my quick escape.

I usually have an impeccable technique for picking the correct line, the quickest line, at check out. It's something my husband marvels at and I am now quite proud of this skill. Well, what ever skill I have did not work for us this particular evening and we got stuck in THE SLOWEST LINE EVER! Literally, I think it was the checker's first day on the job because she was very slow and precise about getting those UPC symbols in the correct position to scan. SO SLOW! There are a lot of things I am good at but patience in check-out lines is not one of them. I tried to get out of the line, I really did, but there were people behind us and magazine racks to the left of us and candy shelves to the right and I was about to hyperventilate right there! Rob realized my panic and rubbed my back and whispered into my ear, "breathe, it's just a line, you'll be alright."

I knew I had to do something to get through the wait so I took a look at what everyone else was buying and I about fainted. There was a woman and her child in front of me and they had a ton of groceries on the belt. It wasn't the amount of food that was there that worried me, it was the content. There was not one vegetable! NOT ONE! Not even a bad veggie, say a potato, which you can slice up, put into a vat of oil and deep fry for french fries,,, not even one of those! You want to know what was on her grocery list, since veggies are obviously satan's tools for skinny people? Here's the list of what I saw: about 20 packages of ramen noodles, 10 (count them,,, I did) 10 packages of macaroni and cheese, three different types of potato chips, 2 massive jugs of Hawaiian Punch (the red stuff that hurts my teeth just thinking about it,) 6 bottles of Pepsi, 2 one pound bags of M&M's, 2 loaves of white bread, a mound of Hungry Man dinners, a half-gallon of ice cream, and the list goes on.

This seriously worries me and now I completely understand why my mom would never let us go grocery shopping with her when we were little, because she would have been put through an onslaught of begging for junk food. You know the kid thought he had hit the proverbial jackpot that evening. I wonder if the mom ever said no to him at all or just told him, "you know what, I'm tired of making grocery lists, why don't we just let you decide what to eat for dinner this week?" When did we start letting our children dictate what we should eat? Aren't we the ones who are supposed to be setting good examples for our children? Aren't we supposed to be forcing those horrible things we call vegetables down our children's throats or are we scared that *gasp* they may just like a veggie or two? Okay I need to stop now or my head might explode.

Next week I'll give you my thoughts on teen drivers and what the hell parents are thinking when they buy their 16 year old a Lexus.

My Saturday Night

"We have no friends!"

"What are you talking about? You have tons of friends!"

"But it's Saturday night and no one has called us to go out or get together. You know why? Because we have a baby now and we're boring, and worried about germs and,,,, boring!"

"We're not boring, we're just trying to adapt to life with a kid."

"I don't know, I just don't want to be the boring people!"

"Let me make you a mocha with our new espresso machine."

"OKAY!"

I Likey

Favorites, favorites, favorites. Here are some of mine.

Child - Avery - Come on, did you really think I wouldn't start this post off with something that didn't have to do with my child?
Food - Mushroom Risotto - I could easily become a vegetarian and this is what I would eat every. single. day.
Television Show - There are a few. Grey's Anatomy, Amazing Race and I confess, Dancing with the Stars (yep, I'm officially embarrassed.)
Music - Currently I am IN LOVE with James Blunt and everything he sings. Other favorites include The Dixie Chicks (all republicans can send hate mail to me personally,) Elton John and Maroon 5 (even with the skanky lead singer Adam Levine, seriously, have you read US Weekly?)
Movies - This is a hard one because who has only one favorite movie? I think the one movie that stands out in my mind is Sliding Doors, maybe it's the british in me or maybe it's the fact that I would love my life to to play out like a fairy tale but haven't you ever wondered what would happen if you didn't hit that red light on the way to the grocery store or if you hadn't stayed late at work and went to have drinks with your friends instead? (Yes, that was a run-on sentence.) I love how the movie shows two sides of the same life, how people influence the decisions you make and why we choose to live the life we live.
Books - I wish I could say I was a brilliant and knowledgeable mind and tell you to go read Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina but I'll leave that to Oprah. I would have to say my favorite indulgent read would be "The Winner" by David Baldacci. And I would be lying if I didn't say I am totally looking forward to reading Charlotte's Web with Avery.
Perfume - Origins Ginger Essence - If you are single and want to land a man you should wear this perfume (if you're a girl that is.) I get more men asking me what I am wearing after I spritz this stuff on, it's ridiculous! Seriously, buy the stuff!
Terminology - Okay, there are two terms I use on a regular basis and those are 'Seriously' and 'It's Ridiculous.' Let me go all spelling bee on you and use them in a sentence. Actually, I don't really have to work too hard on this one, just look at the previous topic of favorite perfume.
Vacation Spot - Sydney, Australia, and I can't even tell you how green with envy I am over my mother and sister leaving tomorrow to go to this exact location for a couple of weeks. They better bring me back a koala bear,,, and I don't mean a stuffed koala bear, I want a real, live koala bear!
Websites - The first website I look at in the morning is Dooce. I enjoy her stories so much and she has such a great and funny way of telling them. And of course, I have to say I visit Susannah's site daily as well, she is the one who pretty much forced me to start blogging in the first place. Sus is extremely talented and everyone should read her because she's a great writer!

Why are you still reading this? I told you to go read Dooce and Sus' sites!

You can just call her 'giggles'

I do believe I have heard the sweetest sound I have ever heard. Avery laughed last night and ever since then we have tried anything and everything to get her to do it again. I never thought I would be so thrilled with hearing a child laugh as I was when I heard my own do it. Sure, I think baby giggles are just so heart-melting and beautiful but when your own child is the one doing the giggling it ups the beauty quotient about 100 fold.

Rob was the lucky one to be able to get 'the girl' to do the laughing but thankfully she did it about four times so that I would be able to get over to the couch in time to witness the event. For some reason she thought her daddy laughing at her and making funny faces was just the funniest thing in the world. I promptly took the chance to take a pot-shot and told him that her laughing at his face was quite appropriate. Hey, we all know in about eighteen years she'll be laughing behind our backs!

As I said earlier, we have been trying every possible approach to get her to laugh again with no success. The things we have tried? Oh let's see, making funny faces, laughing for no good reason, doing googly sounds until our lips hurt, dancing, singing, shaking our groove thing, standing on our head. Okay, so we didn't stand on our heads but maybe it's something I'll try tomorrow, because as we all know, tomorrow's another day and there is nothing better to do than to hear a child laugh!

The post in which I sing the "Hallelujah Chorus"

My husband is on his way home tomorrow morning at 5am, and I have never been so happy. He has only been away for two days but with an eleven week old baby in the house it feels like it has been two years. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter more than anything in this world but I have come to realize how much I also love my husband and the help he provides me when he comes home from work each evening! It sometimes catches me off guard how tiring being a full time mom can be. Some of my friends have asked me, "what do you do all day?" And all I can say is those people can suck it. (I mean this in the most loving of ways!) What do I do all day? I'm a mom and a wife. We have decided not to pay someone a crazy amount of money to raise our child because we want to make sure our children are raised with our morals and beliefs, not someone elses. So here's a run down of what I do each day.

• Feedings, feedings and more feedings. Avery feeds every three to four hours and it takes about 30 minutes to get a bottle down her. Once she is done with the bottle and burping I have about two hours before she will need to eat again.
• Laundry. I do one or two loads of laundry every other day so that I never lag behind. Laundry has never been one of those things that is hard for me to get done, I just fit it in when I can.
• Dusting, glass cleaning and vacuuming, Oh My! We have a dog and live in a new construction area so the amount of crap that comes into our house through the ventilation systems is obscene. This is an every other day sort of thing I do.
• Cooking Dinner. My husband and I are not big eat out kind of people. I like to do the occasional lunches with my friends but for the most part my husband and I eat most of our meals at home. Since my husband is obviously the one earning the money I am the one who is responsible for feeding the two of us. I love to hunt for new recipes and I really enjoy the actual act of cooking so this isn't seen as too much of a burden for me but either way, dinner has to be on the table so that we don't starve.
• Playing with the baby. This isn't a bad thing at all but it's still something I have to do. In order for her to develop and be a smart little human being stimulation is important. We have tummy time for neck strengthening and toy time for stimulation.
• Etc., Etc., Etc. The list could go on and on but I won't bore you.

So there you go. That is definitely not everything I do in a day but a good majority of it, I'm definitely not sitting at home eating bon bons.

This is also why I am so excited to see the hubby tomorrow. After spending so much time taking care of the baby and taking care of the house it's nice to be able to hand the girl over to her daddy and have a few minutes to shut my eyes and do nothing. Thank God he understands that because he is always so happy to go into Super Daddy mode and take care of our pride and joy! I hope he is ready for it tomorrow because the second he walks in that door I'm taking a bath!

Here is another reason I enjoy being a stay at home mom. I get to see all the smiles!

 

Puppy Love

I have noticed since Avery was born my dog has been somewhat neglected. I hate this more than you know but I guess that is just the way it goes when something so life-shaking as having a baby happens to you. Rob and I have made a conscientious effort to really include the dog more, give her lots and lots of attention and of course we bribe her for the return of her love by showering her with an obscene amount of treats. Knowing Laila (our dog) the way I do, she's probably thinking, "wow, if bringing home a baby means I get more treats then we should have ten of these whiny little things!"

Here are some pictures of the spoiled dog getting some good exercise at the park last weekend. And a few of the hubby and child thrown in for good measure

 

Milestones

Well, it has happened. My baby has transitioned from her bassinet to her crib,,, in her own room! It happened Friday night, a night filled with darkness and dread for her mama. I didn't really think it would go over so well because as I have stated before, whenever she is put into her crib for naptime she starts screaming like I have just dipped her in eggwash and breadcrumbs and have put her into the oven to bake for a midday snack.

I tried to make it as easy a transition as possible. I've started a routine at night and it goes something like this - Bath, Jammies, Bottle, Bed. For the most part she really seems to enjoy her bathtime, especially now that she can kick those legs and make the water splash about. We then slather her up with some yummy lotion and get her into some warm pj's. Once she is all snuggled up and warm we give her a bottle and if everything goes well she will start to drift off to sleep as she is nearing the end of her bottle. Rob then goes into super-daddy mode and does the best swaddle this side of the Rockies,,, seriously, it's that good! I do the last bit by singing her a little ditty - her favorite seems to be "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Dixie Chicks - and then I put her into her crib for a nice peaceful slumber. Once I leave her room and pull the door closed I have a complete breakdown because I hate having her in there alone! If a heart could shatter into a million pieces I swear mine would do that every night around 10pm when I put her in her crib. The way I cling to the baby monitor to hear if she is crying is something of ridiculous proportions. The second she even makes the slightest of  sounds I practically lunge off my bed only to be corraled back by my husband, telling me to wait. And I hate it when he is right. She needs to grow up and be able to sleep in a room without her parents, because hey, it could get very awkward if we're all still sharing a room when she's 23.