Before I had Avery many people told me that I would forget all the pain I would go through in order to bring her into this world and want to do it all over again. Well, I can tell you that all those people were prophetic because I would and will gladly do this pregnancy thing again, only in about three years or so. I can't say I have forgotten the nausea and hyperemesis and all the little things I despised about being pregnant (all worth it I should say) but I can say that I have forgotten the pain of childbirth, actually I don't think my childbirth experience was that painful at all. Yes, I had an epidural, but I didn't get that wonder drug until I was six centimeters dilated so I feel I was able to have some of the experience that those amazing natural child-birthers go through (better them than me.)
I want to write out my childbirth experience so that I can share it with my daughter later on and I never want to forget how amazing an experience it was,,, so here it is.
On December 9th, 2005 I had an appointment with my OBGYN, unfortunately he had to go deliver a baby at the time of my appointment so I ended up seeing his nurse, Donna. I went through all of the regular rigamarole of the visit that I had gotten so use to over the last eight months,,, check of the urine sample to test for protein and sugar, hop on the scale to check my weight (yeah,,, no better way to make a pregnant woman happy than to weigh her, how about we say it out loud too?) go through the questions of how I am feeling and if there is any difference I have noticed with how I feel. Everything checked out well and we were onto checking how far dilated I was. Well, I was 3cm dilated and about 70% effaced. Yes! I am going to have this baby any day now,,, right? Well, not so much, Donna told me I could walk around this way for weeks, just what I wanted to hear. Donna also told me that Dr. Hansen was going out of town the following week so if I did in fact go into labor by my due date, December 15th, another doctor would have to deliver me. I told her it wouldn't be a problem, we all know that the nurses are the ones who do the large part of the work anyway, the OB just comes in to catch the baby and get all the glory, lucky ducks. She also told me they wanted to schedule an induction for the 20th if I hadn't already delivered by then. Again, I said that would be fine. I was scheduled for an induction at 6:30am on the 20th of December. She also scheduled me for a non-stress test and amniotic fluid check on the 16th of December.
When I went home that day I was completely sure I would go into labor by the 15th. After all, everyone told me I would probably go early and if your friends and family tell you it will happen, IT WILL HAPPEN,,, unless you're me. The 15th came and went and still no baby, life was definitely not fair at that point. I had prepared for this baby to come by the 15th, this is a woman who put up her Christmas decorations the week before Thanksgiving and had the baby room done by mid-October because I was positive the baby was going to come early and I wanted to be prepared. If you know me, preparation isn't something I am good at so the fact that I had done everything I needed to and still had no baby was like someone playing a huge joke on me. This joke was not funny. At this point my nausea had not let down, I was now feeling huge and joint pain was reaching an all time high, I just wanted to have the baby! Not to mention Rob's family had all arrived and my family was also in town (not a small feat since both my sister and mom have jobs that require them to travel every week, in fact they both had to cancel trips because my child was so stubborn.)
December 16th arrived and I went to the doctor's office again. My NST test and amniotic fluid check came back perfect so there were no worries where the pregnancy was concerned. The only thing that did concern the doctor was the fact that they believed the baby was going to be quite large so in the words of the ultrasound technician, "it's a good thing they're inducing you in four days, this baby is going to be big. Oh, and your baby has a TON of hair." I didn't mind the baby having a lot of hair, I did mind the "baby is going to be big" part, that was a great way to terrify me. I went home from that appointment pretty much resigned to the fact this child was not going to come by my induction date.
On the night of December 19th Rob and I prepared to go to the hospital the following morning. We didn't have to prepare much since my hospital bag had been packed for the last month (that whole preparation thing I spoke of earlier) but we definitely had to prepare ourselves mentally.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep much on the night of the 19th. Rob on the other hand slept very well,,, it actually angered me that he was so sound and all I could think about was the fact that our lives would change immeasurably in the next 24 hours, I was scared. I don't even know if I was excited at all, the fear seemed to be the only thing I felt. I wanted to do right by this child and what if I was a failure as a mother? Not to mention the concept of giving birth was also now starting to frighten me. I am a person who doesn't stress very easily, I may be hyperactive but during stressful times that is when I am at my peak and can function my best. Now it seemed as if all the stress I had missed out on in my lifetime was hitting me all at once, I couldn't seem to calm my fears. Somehow I was able to sleep for a few hours before my alarm went off. I called the hospital as I had been told to do to make sure my induction was still a go and was told that everything was ready for me and to come on in. They were so calm about it, "yep, just come on in and we'll get things moving." Didn't they know that I was freaking out about the process of which I was about to go through?
Rob and I got ready and told his parents, who were staying with us for the birth and through the holidays, that we would see them later. My family and Rob's family were all going to come to the hospital around 9am to be with us. At that time it was about 5:30am and we had to be at the hospital by 6am for check in. While we were driving to the hospital it was strange to realize that the next time we got back into this car we would be bringing home our child, that was such an overwhelming thought for me. When we got to the hospital Rob asked me if I wanted him to drop me off at the door since the parking lot looked icy, I told him no, of course I would be fine, he was just over reacting. Well, not really, I realized it was icy when I almost went down on my backside, thank God I was able to save myself. On the other hand, if I had fallen I am sure I probably would have went into labor on my own, no pitocin needed. A sidenote for you all, the parking lot was so icy that when I was waiting in my room for the nurse one of the nurses at the desk said to all the other nurses, "the parking lot is slicker than shit out there!" That's how icy it was!
We got checked in and were escorted to our birthing suite which was a nice big room and very comfy. From that point we waited until about 8am for the nurse to come in and start the pitocin. I was offered an epidural at that point but since I hadn't started contractions yet I didn't see the point in it, I would let them know when it was time for the wonder drug. I started having small contractions within the hour but nothing that was painful. My doctor came in to see us and said he was going to check me, he also said he was going to break my water but then said, "no, I'm just going to do a check." Well, I don't know if he was just trying to relax me making me think he was just going to do a check but then I felt a burst of pain and he told me he went ahead and broke the water,,, ummm, he totally tricked me! I was still only 3cms dilated. He said the contractions should start coming on stronger and they did but nothing that I wasn't able to handle.
My mom and sister along with Rob's parents showed up and were pretty much there for the long haul. While I was contracting we were all having nice conversations and just hanging out like we were at a nice open house. It was actually quite enjoyable. When the nurse came in to check me again it was around noon. She told us that I was only about 5cm and they would continue to increase the pitocin. She also asked if I wanted my epidural yet. Even though my contractions were starting to hurt more I said no, I would wait a little longer. I had heard some not so nice things about epidurals and I wanted to make sure that when they came at my back with that long needle I was going to be in enough pain that the needle wouldn't bother me. I think I was more scared of the epidural than the actual birth! Well, about 15 minutes later I finally caved. I had really been breathing through the contractions and they were getting quite painful so bring on the drugs! My anesthesiologist, Mike, came in and had Rob hold me in place and administered the epidural. Pretty much instantaneously my legs started to tingle and then,,,, nothing. I couldn't feel a darn thing except the pressure when a contraction hit. It was awesome! So awesome I considered naming my kid Mike if the baby was a boy, that's how much I loved my anesthesiologist. I highly recommend epidurals,,, literally the best thing ever! Why people ever go without them is beyond me,,, I am not even going to pretend to be brave and live through the pain, being brave is highly overrated. If I can have drugs,,, I'm going for the drugs. I figure I was a good kid and didn't do anything bad so if I can have drugs legally, I'm going for it!
Since I was only 6cm dilated everyone except for Rob decided to go get some lunch. We figured it would take a while for me to progress to a ten since it had take 5 hours for me to progess 3cm. Well, we were wrong about that. Within an hour I had progress to a 9 and Rob had to call the family to get them back to the hospital. Within another 10 minutes I started shaking violently and my blood pressure plummeted. I'm sure the nurses thought my family was nuts because all of them started running for the nursing station telling them that my body was doing crazy things. The nurse came in and told me that the shaking was completely normal, it was a reaction telling my body that I was ready to give birth. At that point she told me I was ready to push. She coached Rob on what to do and we started the pushing process. To say that Rob was amazing is an understatement, he was so calm through everything and he stayed with me the entire time, from the beginning when we were checked in until the moment, two days later, when we left the hospital with our child, I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband.
I continued to push for an hour and a half until my doctor came in to check on us. The baby's head was right there but it was having a hard time getting underneath the pelvic bone. We could see the head but the baby was just not working with us on coming out. My doctor said he would like to use forceps to help the baby along. Well, I think he saw the fear in my and my husband's eyes and he said we could try pushing for another half hour and then he would see where we were. Well to say I became an expert pusher is an understatement, I pushed and pushed 'til I could push no more,,, literally. And we still had no baby. Dr. Hansen came into our room again and said he would really like to use the forceps because the baby just wasn't making it out under the pelvic bone. It was going to have to be forceps or a c-section. Needless to say, I opted for the forceps. Our doctor was so good at making me comfortable and at ease with the decision, not to mention I was so tired from two hours of pushing I was ready to use the forceps. He told me I would feel a lot of pressure from him putting the forceps in place, which I did feel but it wasn't painful due to the amazing drugs I was on! At that point he told me I would feel a huge amount of pressure when I pushed during my contraction, he was right about that too. Suddenly he told me to stop and I knew something was going on because the grandmas and my sister were literally freaking out and Rob had started to cry. I asked him if the head was already out and he nodded to me. I then saw my doctor reach for scissors and knew I was getting an epesiotomy which I asked if we really had to do and my doctor said yes,,, I was petrified! But again, because of the wonder drugs, I felt nothing,,,, Awesome!!!! My doctor then told me to push again and I felt the baby make it's way out of my body, it was truly a feeling that was so strange I will never forget it. At that point everyone was trying to figure out if it was a girl or boy since my doctor had not told us yet. Up to this point I was soooo certain I was carrying a boy,,, well, I was wrong. It was a beautiful baby girl and a big one at that. They layed her on my chest and I think it was the most overwhelming feeling I have ever felt, the most beautiful, overwhelming feeling I could ever imagine. I looked up at Rob and it was the most perfect moment of my life. There we were, the three of us,,, a family.
Avery Lori, born on Dec. 20, 2005 weighing 9lbs. 1.6oz and measuring 20in. long with a TON of blonde hair.